Funny Valentine Poems

Are you searching for some funny valentine poems for your sweetheart? Well, I'm sure the ones you see below will make the love of your life laugh out loud.


Things We Don’t Need

It’s Valentine’s Day, but we don’t need men.
Are you with me? Can I get an amen?
All men do is whine and complain.
They truly are our existence’s bane.

It’s Valentine’s Day, but we don’t need flowers.
Put them in water, dead in a few hours.
All flowers do is give us hay fever.
We’d rather play fetch with a Golden Retriever.

It’s Valentine’s Day, but we don’t need candy.
Not from some dude named Robert or Andy.
All candy does is go right to our hips.
Soon our derrieres will cause lunar eclipse.

by Angela Rose
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You will find a variety of funny valentine day poems in this section. Here's one that is titled, I Love Your... In my opinion, I think it's the funniest one in this entire section.



Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a happy event,
Your dirty laundry, not an acceptable present.
You think I enjoy bleaching your skid marks?
How would you like being eaten by sharks?

Valentine’s Day should be romantic.
Your profession of love should not be frantic.
You think I enjoy your last minute card?
How would you like your best jersey charred?

Valentine’s Day is a day of love.
Feelings for each other, fit like a glove.
You think I enjoy how often you annoy?
Actually I do, you silly little boy.

by Angela Rose


Stay In is a poem that may be used if you are deciding to have dinner at home and just stay in on Valentines Day. The next one is also really funny


Not being very pleased with your Valentines Dinner is the topic of the last poem. Well, I hope you had fun reading these funny Valentine poems, and more importantly, make sure that you share them with your loved ones.



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