I understand that you are looking for funny poems for adults. Here's one for a wife. I hope it makes your wonderful wife laugh.
My love for you will keep me young.
My praises of you will forever be sung.
Whenever you smile, my heart beats faster.
Of my future happiness, you are the master.
I hope that you will not abuse this power.
And make me go shopping for hour after hour.
A chick flick or two I’ll be happy to watch.
Even though I enjoy them like a kick to the crotch.
The day that we met was the best in my life,
only surpassed when you became my wife.
I know that together our future is bright.
I promise I’ll let you win every fight.
by Angela Rose
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Does your wife make you go shopping with her sometimes? Do you get bored that you play with your blackberry and than you begin pulling out your hair? I must give Angela credit here, because she wrote this poem for all the husbands out there and I can totally relate to it.
Sometimes when I go shopping with my wife, I try to place both my body and my mind in a dormant state, just to reduce the pain of the experience. I must admit, I believe that I have nearly mastered this technique and it actually works. It requires a lot of meditation, and sometimes even levitation. But that's probably just to advanced for you at this point. So just start of with meditation. Traditionally, we are taught that meditation is about clearing the mind and relaxing. I meditate by filling my mind with things that make me feel good. Such as beer and football. It really works, but than I get really thirsty, and start looking for a nearby bar.
It started out all friendly,
The atmosphere that evening,
The dark world of the Monster,
Began to show It's feelings,
The snarling was intense,
I was frozen to the spot,
To speak would be just be fatal,
I'm so glad I did not.
I was minding my own business,
When the beast made its attack,
Its eyes were red and raging,
When I tried to answer back.
The Monster it was in the mood,
Too tear me limb from limb,
I begged it just to let me live,
As I trembled in my skin.
It backed off for a little while,
As steam blew from its nose,
But this was just the starting point,
As its anger slowly grows.
I took the Monsters lashing,
Its claws were like a knife,
I curled into a little ball,
Fearing for my life.
I'm strong as hell, my muscles huge,
As tough as man can be,
But nothing makes us fear our lives,
Like a girl with PMT.
By Dean Farnell
Now what about chick flicks. I don't mind them that much. I used to actually like watching them. But since I have watched pretty much every chick flick on the face of the earth, I am allowed to be sick of them. I place complete blame for this on my mom and sister, who introduced me to these type of movies when I was 10. So not buy choice, but rather habit, I ended up watching them all.
So when I was younger and I my friends were talking about all these cool action flicks, I could not add my input, unless they mentioned Julia Roberts. I hope you are feeling sorry for me at this point. Thank you, I appreciate it.
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