Very Funny Poems Blogfill your day with laughter!

If you love something let it go,
If it stays away you’ll never know.

But if he comes back you’re meant to be,
And you can go live life happily.

By Tyquana

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I admit I had some reservations,
About meeting a man on the “net”,
It´s like rooting around in a lucky dip,
Where you don’t have a clue what you’ll get.

For bald – read “ruggedly handsome”,
For a wimp – an “impressive physique”,
And avoiding a macho Adonis,
Means you´ll probably end up with a geek.

I don’t get the whole “widget” language,
Thought a “gig” was a concert at night,
A “cursor” was someone who swore a lot,
And teeth were intended to “byte”.

“Log on” – putting wood on the fire,
“Hard drive” – a long trip round about,
And if you had a three inch floppy,
You´d make sure no one would find out.

“Memory”- gets worse after forty,
I’d manicure my nails with a “file”,
And if you “unzipped tools” in public,
You´d get put in jail for a while.

So along comes “Connecting Singles”,
Oh boy, was I in for a surprise,
By just sending a few virtual flowers,
You’d meet modelesque girls and hot guys,

So I logged on with genuine gusto,
And soon even learned how to IM,
And an evening of flexing your fingers,
Seemed preferable to the gym.

Now my dating days are expended,
I’ve taken to Skyping instead,
For I´ve fallen in love, but not with a geek,
But a computer virgin named Fred.

So goodbye to the “champers and roses”,
The hunks and all of the rabble,
Cos I´m trading the virtual “6 pack”,
For a 6 pack of lager and Scrabble!!

By Tracey Winklmair

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With Easter Sunday upon us, I thought it was appropriate to share a funny poem about Easter with all of you.  I hope you enjoy it, and hope that everyone has a safe and happy Easter!

How To Make Others Laugh…and not at your expense

How To Make Others Laugh is a much overlooked skill, and it would seem that very few people genuinely appreciate or even understand why it is so useful a life skill. People who are good at How To Make Others Laugh are generally more extroverted, charming, confident and able to get along with people which in turn directly equates to better people skills. In the competitive and cutthroat world of corporate power housing, the ability to schmooze with superiors without attracting the wrath and envy of your peers is a skill all of its own.

If you are curious as to How To Make Others Laugh, then hopefully the following pointers will help you in your studies.

Keep abreast of current affairs, and draw inspiration from a variety of topics.

If you watch any stand up comedian, irrespective of who they are or what their background is, the thing that binds them all is that they will focus on mundane, normal things and then make insightful and perceptive comments about them. Whether it is the cost of prescription medication, the failings of the current governmental regime, or the pains of being stuck in traffic, they are able to draw from personal experience and talk about something which everyone can relate to.

Know your audience

Knowing your audience is critical to your success, as it means that you will be able to tailor your material to your current listeners. For example, making jokes about the Iraq war are not liable to go down very well with the families of soldiers fallen in combat, no matter how witty they maybe. Likewise, jokes about the KKK in a predominately black audience is liable to cause offence.

Lead from the front, and self-deprecate.

A good comedian is able to, and willing, to poke fun at themselves and allow others to point out their shortcomings. If not, then the comedian will quickly cross the fine line between humorous about other people, and being gossipy as well as unduly harsh in their criticism. Appearing as a priggish stick in the mud who is condemning others for all their faults will mean that the audience will be rooting to take you down a peg.

Practice makes perfect

The simple truth of the matter is that How To Make Others Laugh is no easy task, as it takes impeccable timing, razor sharp wit and above all else, a thick skin. Not everyone will laugh at your jokes, and sometimes people will either be offended, or just not get it. Failing that, they might not find your material amusing. As you practise, you will be able to hone your people reading skills, and gauge the relative enthusiasm of your audience.

Watch what you say!

Touchy subjects such as sexual relations, crime, politics and religion can be excellent sources of comedy as humour exposes the failings and complexes people have about these topics. However, these topics can just as easily backfire and so you need to be fully prepared for the potential consequences of your actions.

They say that laughter and a smile is infectious, and so if one person is in an especially buoyant mood then their good cheer and happiness will spread to other people thereby raising overall morale.  Without a doubt, laughter is one of the quickest and most guaranteed methods of improving intimacy, trust and rapport with a particular person.

Despite initial doubts and scepticism, there has been a plethora of scientific studies commissioned in an attempt to ascertain the health benefits, (if any), happen to exist when a person laughs. The range and potency of the health benefits directly and causally attributable to laughter has been nothing short of remarkable and so the old maxim of laughter being the best medicine is not indicative of apathetic doctors, or downtrodden comedians.

Some of the Health Benefits of Laughter are as follows:

Protection of the heart

Whenever we are stressed, our body automatically responds to this by increasing the production of certain chemicals (known as hormones) within the body. As our stresses levels reach a peak, this causes the platelets of the body to then fuse together which directly interferes with the elimination of arterial plaque that forms around the heart.  One of the chemicals that is produced when we are stressed is endothelium which it itself has been proven to inhibit the removal of blood clots as well as arterial plaque.

Improves mood

As noted earlier, stress is toxic to the body because it directly stimulates the production of harmful hormones in the body. Laughter on the other hand has been proven to release some chemicals of its own, and in particular, endorphins. Endorphins are the painkilling agents of the body which are located in the brain, and to give you a better comparison, opiate medication (morphine for example) tries to mimic endorphins both in composition and effect.

Reduces stress

Another one of the Health Benefits of Laughter is that whenever we are currently laughing it is physically impossible for us to feel any other emotion, especially negative ones such as anger or depression.  Because we cannot allow negative emotions to creep in this means that we also help to ward off those feelings which raise our stress levels.

Optimizes the effectiveness of the auto-immune system

The immune system is the natural defence system of the body used to repair damage sustained to cells, as well as the detection and elimination of infectious agents.  Whenever we have a laughing fit this means that the number of antibodies (the agents commonly used in the destruction of infection) is increased thereby ensuring that we will not get ill, or if we do come down with an infection we will require more swiftly.

Stops us from feeling overwhelmed

Whenever we are depressed or angry about something, our problems can seem unbeatable and so they consume us. However, by ensuring that we keep in good spirits, and rely on humour as a defence mechanism, we can see problems in their true perspective.

Wrong Teller

Charlie needed money, so he went to the bank,
Right before leaving, he made sure he drank.
Desperate and hungry, he needed the cash,
The plan was simple, including the dash.

Walked inside, went straight to the teller,
Unfortunately, he was not the best speller.
Using crayons, he wrote – “give me the muni”
When she read it, she knew he was a loony.

She calmly returned, his childish note,
F in red ink, she precisely wrote.
At this point, he was getting real mad,
He demanded money, or he shall be bad.

“I’m sorry Sir, I just deal with loans!”
He was shaking, right to his bones.
She asked him to wait in the next line,
He walked away, with a polite decline.

by Martin Dejnicki
www.veryfunnypoems.com

Giving a very funny poem to someone who may be feeling down, who is not having the greatest day or who just needs some humor in their busy, tied up life can be a real big up lifter.

We all can get wrapped around our busy work, school or family schedule that we tend to even forget about taking a normal breath sometime during the day and telling ourselves to, “Relax”.

These days we don’t have time for anything, we are just too busy. No time for family or friends, but most importantly, we don’t make time for ourselves.

Just taking a few minutes out of our busy day to think about something funny or share a good laugh with someone releases these feel good chemicals into our body called Serotonin. Serotonin is released into our body when we are happy or share a good laugh with someone.

Laughter is so healthy for us especially the heart and mind, but most importantly it fights disease which in turn keeps us healthy.

So after much thinking and talking with friends, we came up with something very nice to share with each other each morning before we would start work. Every morning the four of us will either write or send a funny poem to each other. Not only would this start off our day with a smile, but it would also keep us healthy and energized.

One day our friend April was at work sending off this poem to us, just as she was about to send out her email, her boss asked what she was doing. She told her boss what she and her friends do each morning to start off their day. Her boss thought it was a wonderful idea.

She asked April if she would be able to forward these funny poems to each of the twenty Co-workers in April’s department, April agreed.

Each morning not only do the friends send off a poem to one another, April forwards the poems to the other co-workers as well. Everybody shares a laugh with each other in the department too.

The department dedicated the time 8 o’clock to eight fifteen as, share a funny poem time.

I think we came up with a great idea to a start off the day. It’s important to share something funny with a friend or family member. Not everyone spills out on the table talking about how their day went, or if something happened or they just don’t want to talk about it or maybe they’re just constantly thinking about something.

Sharing a funny poem with someone may brighten up their day a lot, or maybe just a little, but even if it’s just a little, I think it’s still worth a try.